Global Wondrousness

I've often wondered why Paddington Bear left his home in Darkest Peru
When that is the very location of the enigmatic Machu Picchu
Would the idiot have left Egypt, the Pyramids of Giza and the Sphinx?
All places so much nicer than a London train station, methinks


The historic Petra in Jordan was cut out of the rock of Mount Hor
Great Wall of China, 4,000 miles long, building that must've been quite a chore
But it's the natural wonders of this planet that are really worth a view
Like the Grand Canyon; Great Barrier Reef; Ayers Rock AKA Uluru


I'm a big fan of waterfalls personally: Iguaza, Angel, Victoria
Shall I mention I went to Niagara? Nah, I don't want to bore ya'
I've never climbed a mountain, but no doubt it would amaze
Perhaps Kilimanjaro or the Matterhorn, or one of the Himalayas


The famous canals of Venice, so popular with tourists
I prefer the ones in Amsterdam, which come with drugs and whorists


So many beautiful islands, like Bali in Indonesia
The Seychelles and The Maldives, Bora Bora in French Polynesia
But if you want a view of paradise try the Fijian Islands of Mamanuca
I met a girl from Fiji once, she was nice but not much of a looker


I've never fancied going to Vietnam, but one thing that's quite persuasive
Is Descending Dragon Bay, that's Vinh Ha Long if you're a native
3,000 monolithic islands, up to a hundred metres tall
Not a good country to war against though, not too good at all


Turkish Springs of Pamukkale, or Namaqualand in Spring
The poles are really pretty, if snow and ice is your thing
Fjords; lakes; deserts; rainforest (at least what's left of it)
Even some places in England are nice, if you like fields and trees and shit


Our Earth is a wonderful place, it really has some delightful bits
But none compare to the majesty of Christina Hendricks' tits.